Sleeping with Noodle is like trying to drift off with a clingy, farting burrito glued to your side.
He doesn’t just sleep next to me — he merges with me. If I move, he moves. If I shift my leg for half a second, he slides underneath it like a tiny heat-seeking ferret. I wake up feeling like a human pretzel while Noodle snoozes away like the peaceful little log he is. Unbothered. Untwisted. Living his best slumber life.
Noodle’s signature sleep move? The burrow. As a true Dachshund, he’s committed to the art of tunneling under blankets like a mole with a bedtime agenda. But fair warning: if you stick your head under the covers while he’s down there… prepare to be gassed. For a little guy, Noodle brings nuclear power. Between him and Squids, it’s basically the Midnight Dog Fart Olympics under those covers. I’ve woken up in a panic thinking someone pooped — but nope, just the warm, invisible crime of six competing butts.
And let’s talk about the licks. If any part of my leg, foot, or face is within reach, Noodle will bathe it in slobber. He’s a sweet guy — but that sneak attack tongue to the lips is where I draw the line. Yuck.
Still, he means well. He’s warm, loyal, weirdly affectionate, and possibly thinks I’m a cold burrito that needs reheating. If nothing else, I’ll never need a heated blanket again.
🐾 Noodle’s Sleep Style Rating Chart 🐾
The Clingy Little Log
| Category | Rating (Out of 5 🦴) | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Clinginess | 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴 | Physically becomes one with your body. Good luck breathing freely. |
| Personal Space Respect | 🦴 | None. Not even a little. He is your second skin. |
| Temperature Tolerance | 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴 | Hot dog alert! Replace your electric blanket with Noodle. |
| Noise Level | 🦴🦴🦴 | Silent sleeper… but part-time stink bomb. |
| Likelihood of Smothering | 🦴🦴🦴 | Not smothering, per se — just “heavy cuddling” that pins you like a burrito. |
| Jealousy Level | 🦴🦴 | Subtle. More focused on licking your feet than watching his rivals. |
| Cuddle Factor | 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴 | Clingy, warm, devoted. If you move, he moves. Deal with it. |
| Socks/Earplug Theft | 🦴 | Not a thief — he’s a licker. Beware the sneak-tongue strikes. |
Click this >Meet the dogs! (At the bottom of that page)
